Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Breaking Up With Paul and Justin

I'm currently right smack in the middle of my assumed week-long, aforementioned sugar detox. Detoxing from anything is much more difficult during a season of stress, which is where I am currently living, so now's my chance to see what I'm made of. I'll need to just break up with Paul and Justin.

Are you familiar with these guys? I let them into my life at a weak moment, when I gave up the afternoon coffee that would ruin my sleep. They've stepped in when I've needed a little coddling or a momentary escape. But the price is just too high, and I don't mean the $10 price tag for Justin (which is actually also too high). The price I'm talking about is the undoing of my carefully crafted dietary healing -- the vegan-dabbling-in-macrobiotics delicacies which give peace, health and balance to my current experience. Whatever benefit is gained from the delicious juices, the greens and grains, the beans and miso, flies right out the window when I let one of these guys back in. I become instantly unhinged -- flighty, confused and jittery. Unable to sleep, I wake up feeling their insidious pull once again.

For those of you unfazed by the havoc wreaked by sugar, please give these vegan treats a try. They are wonderful products, just not for me. You remember Paul (RIP) but maybe I date myself. I remember him -- dreamy. He also did a lot of good in his life and made some amazing organic and vegan food. I'll miss you, Paul. I don't actually know Justin, but I sure know his Chocolate Hazelnut Butter. It's essentially vegan nutella -- dairy-free and without as much sugar. But that's still too much for me. There are lots of other flavors for you sweets-lovers to check out as well.

For the next 3-5 days, boys, as I'm getting you out of my system for good, I've hardened my heart. Don't even think about running through my head the way you do. Save your oozy, melty sweet talk for some other girl.


  1. So well written and so funny! And breaking up with Paul Newman? Tough, tough call...but you're up for the challenge I know!

    Go get 'em, Girl!

  2. So funny Cheryl!!!
    Justin's is amazing stuff.

  3. Thanks Emily! Justin? He's all yours . . .