Breaking Up With Paul and Justin

I'm currently right smack in the middle of my assumed week-long, aforementioned sugar detox. Detoxing from anything is much more difficult during a season of stress, which is where I am currently living, so now's my chance to see what I'm made of. I'll need to just break up with Paul and Justin.

Are you familiar with these guys? I let them into my life at a weak moment, when I gave up the afternoon coffee that would ruin my sleep. They've stepped in when I've needed a little coddling or a momentary escape. But the price is just too high, and I don't mean the $10 price tag for Justin (which is actually also too high). The price I'm talking about is the undoing of my carefully crafted dietary healing -- the vegan-dabbling-in-macrobiotics delicacies which give peace, health and balance to my current experience. Whatever benefit is gained from the delicious juices, the greens and grains, the beans and miso, flies right out the window when I let one of these guys back in. I become instantly unhinged -- flighty, confused and jittery. Unable to sleep, I wake up feeling their insidious pull once again.

For those of you unfazed by the havoc wreaked by sugar, please give these vegan treats a try. They are wonderful products, just not for me. You remember Paul (RIP) but maybe I date myself. I remember him -- dreamy. He also did a lot of good in his life and made some amazing organic and vegan food. I'll miss you, Paul. I don't actually know Justin, but I sure know his Chocolate Hazelnut Butter. It's essentially vegan nutella -- dairy-free and without as much sugar. But that's still too much for me. There are lots of other flavors for you sweets-lovers to check out as well.

For the next 3-5 days, boys, as I'm getting you out of my system for good, I've hardened my heart. Don't even think about running through my head the way you do. Save your oozy, melty sweet talk for some other girl.

The Devil

This is the devil. This and, mostly the rest of that storebought pumpkin pie that's still sitting in my 'fridge.  I'm not going to go get the pumpkin pie so I can take a photo of it. You know what a pumpkin pie looks like, don't you? Also, I'm not going near it because, . . . you guessed it: the Devil is still calling out to me.

Doggone it!  I knew better. True confessions here -- I didn't even read the labels.  I'm not going to now either. Suffice it to say, no more storebought sweets for me. Why did I go there? The fun, the comaraderie, the joy of being with my family and my parents over the Thanksgiving holiday. Meats don't tempt me, cheeses don't tempt me. Sugar doesn't even tempt me either -- usually. Since going vegan I eat sugar (vegan treats) only once in a blue moon, since I know there is that chance I will feel the pull again. Heck -- I wasn't even tempted by all the Halloween candy.  So why did I think it was okay to indulge in sweets of an unknown origin and content, not once, but one or two times a day, for 4 days straight? My system went out of whack a little on the second day of this indulgence, and has continued to get worse ever since.  No need for details -- I just don't feel good. Once I figured out what was making me feel bad I stopped it, and it has now been three days since then. It has stopped getting worse, but I'm still not right.

Turning a page, forgiving myself, I need to frame this debaucle thus: missteps are how we learn our limits. Being vegan is only ten months old for me now and everything has changed so dramatically. This is truly the first time I have tried sweets I wasn't sure were vegan, and this was also the first time I have tried so many sweets, so often. I will not repeat this mistake.  I've cleaned up my act a bit, leaning more superhero. Any suggestions for how I can feel better sooner? I'll start with a kukicha tea with ume plum and ginger. Thanks for witnessing my folly, dear readers, it'll keep me accountable next time I venture off the healthy path . . .

Happy Birthday Wynne!

In our family, besides whatever other celebration is going on, the birthday kid gets to pick a restaurant of his or her choice for a small family dinner on the actual birthday evening. Yesterday was my daughter Wynne's 13th birthday and she chose Romano's Macaroni Grill. This is a pretty great chain restaurant, with so many options and a wonderful ambiance -- lots of colored glass vases and roomy, cushy booths.  I love the "make your own pasta" option. I chose bowtie pasta with spicy arrabiata sauce, broccoli, spinach and mushrooms - so good! I wolfed the whole thing right down! Wynne had spaghetti with butter and parmesan, it doesn't take much to please her. She mostly just loved the large sheet of white paper and crayons she used to mindlessly create amazing sketches throughout the meal while we chatted -- faces, hairstyles, fashions. These images were all beautifully layered and intertwined, filling every inch reachable to her. The meal was delicious and fun and a great way to spend an hour or so.

Next we went to Yogli Mogli for some frozen yogurt. I was prepared for some sitting and watching the others eat, but the establishment heeded my earlier requests and provided non-dairy mango sorbet! Wynne whispered, "Mom, I bet they got this because you asked for it!" Whatever I can do to forward our vegan cause!

It was fun to be able to participate in the yogurt consumption, but I am paying the price now. My vegan-clean liver seriously does not like sugar, and especially not right before bed. I was fast asleep for about an hour and a half and now I am up at 3:30 a.m. Ugh!

I am mindful of the fact that I have been talking about my 13-year-old daughter for a couple of months now, and she only really turned 13 yesterday. I suppose this is how I ease myself past certain milestones. I did the same thing with my own 40th birthday. I thought of myself as 40 for a good six months before it happened, visualizing 40 simply as the top edge of the 30's, and then when I reached 40 it didn't feel like the body blow it does to some folks. This little trick no longer works for me as I assess myself. I am well aware that 45 is nowhere near the 30's! But whatever framing I have done of my baby's official status as teenager has helped me to focus on what's important -- she is still the same person and I am so proud of her!

My Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Okay guys, I'm baking again! This is out of my comfort zone, since measuring has never been something I enjoy -- I normally just throw food into a dish until it tastes good -- but baking requires measuring, and I love to learn, so I might as well learn how to bake! I didn't use nuts in my cookies, because of my son's allergy to nuts (just breathing them could be dangerous) but you could add nuts in place of some of the chocolate chips if you like. These cookies were about as jam-packed with chocolate chips as they could be -- I had to push the ones that were falling out back into the cookies again before I popped them into the oven. I regret using the organic cane sugar, though I did not use much. I had bought it at the beginning of my vegan journey before I discovered that many cane sugars are not vegan because animal bones are used in their filtering (I hope this organic sugar wasn't filtered that way!) You could replace the sugar with a sweetener of your choice. I will be reinventing these cookies soon using agave instead of sugar -- I will just have to play around with the solid-to-liquid ratio. One thing I do love about these cookies is the date sugar. Date sugar is truly only crushed dates. It adds such a subtle, earthy sweetness, and goes really well with the in-your-face chocolate flavor. Here's my recipe:

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
2 c. oats
3/4 c. whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 c. date sugar
1/4 c. granulated unbleached organic cane sugar
1/2 tsp. salt (I used large grain kosher)
2 tsp. baking soda
4 tsp. baking powder
1/2 c. safflower oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. silk chocolate soymilk (or plant milk of your choice)
1/2 c. Ghirardelli non-dairy chocolate chips

Cookies before baking

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine dry ingredients except chocolate chips in one bowl, combine wet ingredients in another bowl, then mix the two together. Fold in the chocolate chips. On parchment-lined baking sheets, scoop about a tablespoon of the mixture for each cookie, spacing about an inch and a half apart. These cookies will not melt or spread, so squash them flat a little bit before baking. Bake for 10-11 minutes. Let sit on the baking sheet for two minutes, then remove to a cooling rack.
Makes 24-28 cookies, depending on size.


Though I rarely eat sweets anymore (my system doesn't handle them very well) my husband definitely does, and he enjoyed these vegan cookies, which were much more wholesome than what he would otherwise be eating. I enjoyed them too, though I purposely limited the quantity and was mindful of not eating them too late in the day, lest they contribute to a sleepless night. The kids prefer their white sugar cookies, so they didn't touch these little treasures. I wonder if I could invent a fabulous plain white vegan  "sugar" cookie they would like?  Hmmm, stay tuned . . .