Friday, November 8, 2013

Avocado Woes and Moe's

A first world problem, to be sure, but lately I've had trouble finding good avocados. Maybe the "10 avocados for $10" sign should have tipped me off, but the last 3 I bought were rock hard and the next day ripened rotten. I'm glad I didn't buy 10. It's not the avocados' fault. My theory is mishandling somewhere between the avo farms in Mexico and the lush produce display of the local Kroger. By mishandling, I simply mean the avocados are likely being picked too early, then stored cold, which anyone tropical hates. Ask my husband, who was born in the jungle. He rolls his eyes when I say that. He really was born in the jungle, by the way, albeit in a hospital within the jungle. In any case, the jungle boy does not like the cold.

Back to the avocados -- the one in the photo actually wasn't that bad. The other two were beyond help, and many folks would have given up on this one as well, but in the "waste not want not" spirit of my mom, I got out my scalpel. I always think of Moe's surgery as I strive for a "clear margin" on this tropical fruit. For those unfamiliar with Moe's, it is a cancer surgery invented by a guy named Moe where the least amount of tissue is surgically removed while leaving a clear, cancer-free margin for the patient. The surgery involves multiple passes, testing each sample and going back for more if the margin isn't clear. It is a tedious process, so if I have somewhere to be, I pick a different breakfast that day. For the days I do have 15 minutes to perform my Avocado Moe's, it is well worth the effort.

I know the comparison between the rot of the avocado and cancer will be unsettling to some. Keep in mind, vegans, that you've likely not touched animal flesh in some time, and may not remember how horrible prepping chicken is. As the wife of a tropical carnivore, I do still prep dead flesh from time to time, unfortunately (that's how much I love him). So Avocado Moe's is a piece of cake for me!

I have the utmost sympathy for those with a more intimate knowledge of the actual Moe's procedure and by my light-hearted use of the term, mean no disrespect for what you have gone through or may still be going through. I'm just telling you what goes through my head as my scalpel goes through my avocado.

I'm no surgeon, but look at my luscious Avo-Toasts this morning:

Kris Carr's recipe calls for red pepper flakes, but since I am having a red-hot love affair with chipotle powder (smoky! warm!), the Avo-Toast is an apt vehicle for it. The recipe calls for half an avocado, but after this morning's surgery, I needed to use the whole avocado. This was a wonderful, clear-margined breakfast!  Kris is a cancer patient herself -- check her out if you haven't:


  1. I can't believe you posted this...I mean I have been whining (to myself, as I live alone), about the terrible condition of avocados lately. That and Cilantro. At best, I do the surgery and can salvage about half but the alternative is hard as rock...which is where I am headed. P. S. I am with your hubby, I hate the cold too!